Coventry Court News

Someone put a complaint into my rental townhome (Oh, I'm so much better than a rental apartment...I have a personal garage and direct entry...no hallways for me, bub!) that we were slamming doors. But it was the people next to us while they were moving in. I bet it was old people who complained...they always complain but they're too old to get facts specifically correct...that's the last time I wave at them when they walk by walking their old dog. Old oldy jerk jerks. Luckily I snitched on my neighbours and now I'm not in trouble!

See...snitching, in real life, not in school, gets the heat off YOU, and thus is GOOD. Don't get kicked out of your luxury rental townhome because you weren't a snitch.

LUXURY! We have a tennis court and a gym! And we only have to share it with about 300 other people! Capital L, baby!

A gorilla tried to kill my wife yesterday. Only impossible to break plexiglass kept her from sure gorilla destruction. She has yet to divulge to me what the fuck she did to piss off that gorilla. I won't take her fear of the moment as an excuse for no answer! Because I'm too good a husband.

And that's what I've learned after over two years of marriage. No matter how scared your wife was from a near gorilla death encounter, you MUST taunt her for the rest of the day, else you don't get husbandly respect.