Something you might not know

Did you know that even though my picture in that little corner up there is awful (Thanks to yours truly's face!), my profile is patently (pending patent) awesome? It is. It's Awesome! Check it, dudes!

Did you know that even though feet can stink, mine don't, because I bought 14 pairs of the same socks at once last week!? That way, I can throw them all willy-nilly into the sock drawer at once, and not have to combine them into little sock balls to keep matching pairs together. They all match! Score one for rocking the sock drawer!

Did you know that even though I can do math, I still have an awesome calculator? I do! I can drop it! And it still works! Because dropping things is dope.

Did you know that the newest coolest phrase is "that's more awesome than fried cheese curds!"? Because it is! It's State Fair Cool! Get on the bus! Then take that bus, to the State Fair! And get some God Damn Fried Cheese Curds! Not me though, I don't like State Fairs, because I'm too cool for those inbred hicks! Word!

Get some God Damn Fried Cheese Curds! That's my new catch phrase! Drink it, soak in it, let it make your fingers get all pruned up, and then use the towel to wipe it off your ass, and then use that towel tomorrow, inbued with the essence of how fucking awesome that catch phrase is. You gotta want it in your head, bouncing off your neurons, creating a womb full of fluid that is as cool as that phrase around your thoughts! Dude, Get some God Damn Fried Cheese Curds!