At Your Own Risk

Hey Jeff, post more. You were always better at meaty content than me...I was just the delicious orange rind.

Anyway...do you realize I had to look up if it was "rind" or "rinde"? Because I did! There's your director's commentary for the day.

My wife's away on semi-vacation this weekend, so knowing no one down here in the 'States (co-workers don't count, because they're co-workers who are paid to put up with your presence, or ignore you unless they need something from you), I've had a lot of time to think.

1) I miss Zesty Cheese Doritos and Swiss Chalet like a sumbitch.

2) I have to combat my tendancy to fill empty time with eating by forcing myself to exercise and drink water instead. This is much, much less fun. But it makes me feel better...in an empty inside *points to the inside* sort of way.

3) Ignoring the last point, I'm addicted to fruit snacks. They're like candy, except they're NOT. If we tell kids to eat them for recess, then they have to be good for you. And I love eating Snoopy shaped objects. It's a bit of a passion of mine.

4) I've had 2.5 completely free days to do some writing (not here, stupid...real stuff. Well not "real", but side projects that also people won't ever read), and I didn't do anything. And not because my cats won't stop meowing at me when I'm at the computer. But because the only time I feel like writing is when I'm at work. While I pulled that off at my last job by having a lot of free time and not giving any shits, this current place is hard ass, because they make drill bits, god dammit.

5) I have no personal drive to do anything, really. If left to my own devices, I'll shrug and watch Discovery Channel, and let my mind wander to times when I wish I could go back in time and beat the shit out of someone. But we all do that, I suppose. I just do it more lazily, while laying against a pillow. Going to work on Friday without a wife to think about helping to support around...God Damn you Windows, I don't care if you have a update, I'm too busy right now...was mighty difficult. I had to build up my "Beat myself up inside" thoughts to get me there. I wish I was the Eight Dwarf, and thus work would be it's own reward. Because I didn't have other things like not work, to distract me from the dismal boring existance that is living in a cabin in the woods with nothing but deer and bunnies around, dishes to wash, stocking caps to clean, and beards to trim.

6) I easily get into the habit of scratching at my beard. However, I'm self concious about my whole head area, so I like the fact that beard changes my face...that and I'd have a beard tan now if I shaved it. So either way, even if I wanted to change, I have to keep the beard until at least early October. But I usually only go clean shaven 3 weeks a year for the past 3 years, but still...I even annoy myself with the beard scratching/pulling thing. I feel like a girl who chews her nails, and I have any sound nails make. So seriously, don't do that around me. I have a thing about it.

7) We have stupid motivational mats at work for wiping oil off our boots when we come up to our office area from "down below" where the union people have to work. Things like a picture of a bunch of frowny faces with a big yellow smiley face that says "Quality Stands out" or a big picture of a key that says "Safety is Key!". They piss me off. But there's one that has a picture of a big black stain, with a jack'o'lantern red smile and angry eyes, on a red background. I forget what the fuck it's trying to tell us to do, but I love the Angry Stain. It's somehow...charismatic. I'm trying to fit it into something I'm writing that no one will ever see...but it's difficult. But I will find a way.

That's enough unconnected thoughts for one night. Time to go lay down to bed, and think of kids I wish I could go back in time and beat the shit out off. Ahh....