Movin' On, doo doo doo, doo doo doo

So, on Saturday, we do the whole, helping my wife's grandmother do her moving sale. Which was nice, as I enjoy spending nice days outside in a garage watching what people will buy if it's cheap enough.

Butt ugly luggage for instance. But she was "an artist" (she had a small mohawk and big boots in the summertime, so she didn't have to mention that she was, but she managed to at least 4 times in 3 minutes), and was using it for her art supplies, not for vacations, so she won't be embarassed at airports. She'll instead impress her friends with the irony of making beautiful uptown art out of an ugly pea green hard case suitcase.

But enough about her. More about the fat, 40 year old man who lived with his parents whom yelled at us for not knowing what kind of motor was in the lawn mower that we had sold 5 hours earlier. It wasn't my lawm mower, dude, why should I have to know? Why do you have to know? The other half of the sale was down in Grandma's basement, so he then went down there and looked into every nook and cranny of her place and pointed out faulty wiring and told her she's lucky she's not going to jail for selling a house with illegal wiring.

Then he bought a little handheld blackjack video game. He was a Man, he didn't spend the whole 50 cents on it, he bargained down to a quarter. Dude showed us how to do the last minute of the garage sale deal.

Have you ever pulled into a small restaurant's parking lot, and you see one of the cooks in the back lot taking out the garbage, and he looks at you, and gives you that "I can't believe you want to eat HERE" headshakes and sad looks. That's never a good sign. And they used canned mushrooms on their mushroom burger. Not cool.

Oh yeah, the sale. Went well. Grandma made more money they she wanted to (not that she particularly cared, she just felt she had to have a moving sale. And she had the neatest damn moving sale ever. People were in awe of the organization of the items and neatness), and we got to take home and cool stuff left over at the end for free!

I got a grilled cheese sandwich maker!

Give me a high five!

Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light, Go!

I knew that since I had to get up before 6 am for my Grandmother-in-law's Moving Sale that I shouldn't have stayed up past 1 am watching a made for television movie about Def Leppard, but man, if you make a movie that ends with a triumphant staging of "Pour Some Sugar On Me", then I'm there like there was bacon on the plate!

Rhoid Rage

Sorry for the strong language last post, but I've been suffering from rhoid rage.

I had to do all kinds of physicals to prove I can get the job this week (ending up with some weird guy putting water on my nipples to have this bondage strap pick up my heart rate)...so it's been an odd week, with the pain bothering everything. It'd be fun to say "yeah, great, I passed all the physicals to show that I can do the job...now can I take a day off because I can't endure sitting for more than 5 minutes?"

Lousy lack of health insurance.

And the worst encouragement you can hear at times like these is things like hearing your Mother say "oh, those. Yeah, your father used to get them all the time.".

Stupid genetics. Yay for the next 40 years of ass pain.

Life According to Rojald

Well, I finally got a job. Money shall be nice. I can finally get back to my life's calling: lowest level office job possible that no one in the company respects. Ah...it feels good.

Actually, it's contingent upon me passing a drug/alcohol test, which shouldn't be hard because I neither drink nor do drugs, however, it's at 7 am in the morning, and I would hope I wasn't too hopped up at that time of day.

Oh, and I have to pass a physical. Hopefully they allow wusses into their ranks.

But finally, I can go out and have that celebratory dinner I've been planning for EIGHT FUCKING MONTHS. Jesus Christ, am I THAT unemployable. I have a HR degree, damn it! College is spos'da do good things for people like me. I'm white, even if I'm in a foreign land. I even got rid of my Nova Scotian accent for you jackasses! What do you want from your "High school/GED needed" jobs??

My belly is so full of hate right now.

*uses the bathroom*

There, musch musch better.

Yay for money!

$200 camera and can't afford film

We did Summer Cleaning over the weekend and into the early week, and now I'm afraid that we're going to have the fullest garbage on our little block of townhomes area. That's always embarassing to me...I'm sure they're all looking at me like "Oh, you had that much shit in your house? So that's where the smells were coming from. I bet everything that annoys me about this complex is coming from your home, because you obviously live in shitty conditions, or at least did until you threw all that stuff out". Not that I let my paranoia run too wild or anything, that's just what I think about everyone else who has large amounts of garbage, and people obviously think the same as me.

I yelled at people all night in my dreams, and now I feel out of breath all morning. Pity poor me.

Jody and I are addicted to Celebrity Poker on Bravo. It's all we do on Thursday nights. Well, we do chores while it's on, but it's a lovely background to a night of laundry and "I don't know, what do YOU want for dinner?".

According to Recent Studies

I just wish there were more chances to make BIG MONEY QUICK on the internet right now. I could use that.

Update: Great, someone already emailed me about it. And I hadn't even finished writing this post. The internet IS a wonder tool.

No Mess! No Clean-up!

People from Wilmington, DE, can keep on begging me not to discard their letters, but I do as I please! Word!