Behold, the Internet!

Behold the fact that I ain't kiddin' about the milkweed!
Milkweed!

Sunny days, in the eyes of a little girl's heart

It's finally a nice day in Minnesota, fancy that.

But we have milkweed everywhere. I'm not sure if it's technically called "milkweed", or if any one else calls what I'm calling "milkweed" milkweed. But for lack of a better word, because I don't have one, milkweed is everywhere, it looks like you need to shovel it in the entry way to my building. Not that you could, because it weighs so little it almost has antiweight, thus breaking apart and getting into even more annoying areas when you try to remove it.

Not that I care, because I'm inside, but I might fancy going outside soon. But the milkweed is waiting for me. Waiting, and floating. It wants me to accidently swallow it and go "ugh" and then spit it out, and then get more in my mouth when I look at my finger that fished out the first one with open mouthed annoyance.

The kind of annoyance where you want to say something to the inanimate object, but know it can't respond to your annoyance, so you just look at it with an open mouth.

And then some fluffy stuff floats in.

...maybe I just have a big mouth.

E-Tired

Just had the most unrelaxing vacation that was supposed to be relaxing, ever. I'd relate about it but I'd break down in overtired, overstressed, unmanly man-tears.

On a semi-related note, I don't get the attraction of log-cabin style furniture. I get it, it's a cabin, the house is smaller than a real house, I don't need your loveseat to have arms like real logs to believe you.

When it's a hotel, I have even more trouble, because then I KNOW it's not a cabin, and they didn't need to build it like that because they had to use what the land did give 'em.

But the hotel had a great jacuzzi, so I'll forgive them.

But I never got to use it, so...God, that was $300 I wish I could spend on a vacation to destress my wife and I from this vacation.

And no, we didn't fight.

Just had to mention that, just incase you thought. But you think better of me than that, right? Good.

Thank you for your understanding in this matter

Gosh.

You know, I don't eat breakfasts. I don't care if old people yell at me that it's the most important meal of the day. It might be for them, but not for me. They all say about how if I don't have it, I won't have enough energy for the day.

But if that was true, would I be where I am now? On top of the world, baby!

Actually I'm just kind of low energy, breakfast or not, all day. I just smell LESS like eggos.

Too many posts in one day, probably followed by long periods of silence

I don't know why, but I'm all giggle this evening about the idea of every time I'm going to drink any beverage in public, just stopping just before taking that first sip, turning to someone and say "I'm going to chug this!", and then proceed to not chug it, but say "aaaah!" really loudly afterwords. And maybe repeat a bit.

I need more sleep.

Just smurf a smileI HATE SMILES

Okay, some things are just fun to transcribe and put on the internet, because that's what the internet is for. That and buying toys without having to go to a toystore.

I (and every other tenant) got this in a memo from our townhome management last week, and it's word for word:

"We are still doing spring repairs; we apologize for any incontinence this may cause. Please watch for the heavy machinery, when pulling in and out."

Okay, the second sentence isn't as funny, but any time I get "pulling in and out" bolded in a newsletter, I giggle.

I contemplate sending this to The Tonight Show, along with all the creepy yet touching fan mail I send Jay Leno every day.

Running Man...yeah, the movie

So tired this morning. I almost called in sick, because I've got nothing left for the week. I can usually make it to Thursday before crashing and being a shell of myself on Friday, but I'm done after Tuesday this week. Need. Relaxing. Memorial. Day. Vacation. Now.

I'm not sure if I should have put a "." between Memorial and Day, but it was a decision I made, and I'm most likely going to stick with it.

I gather PTO as slow as sharks evolve into land sharks, so to get a single week off, I've been saving since January, and can't miss a day until around August. Much suck, since the woman in the cubicle next to me goes to Mexico for vacations 4 times a year for more than a week at a time. I'm guessing that sometime after your 3rd year, you either get a lot more PTO, or they just stop noticing you if you're gone.

I have extra time today because of the appreciation luncheon, so I don't have to spend time making a sandwich. Not that I mind making sandwiches. I'm not saying it's fun, I just don't mind it. Don't look at me that way. Yes, I know I once wore a shirt that said "sandwich artist" on it, but you can't typecast me for the rest of my life.

*sighs*

Okay, I make great sandwiches. Happy? And I kind of enjoy making them.

And eating them!

Nummers!

Samsquanches

Another day, another morning, because most days have mornings. I suppose sleeping until the afternoon would lose it's charm if the afternoon was the morning.

I had my Operation dream last night. I've had it since I was a youngn'. It's where I actually own the board game Operation, which I want to play so badly, but I'm terrible at it, always hitting the side and making the nose go off.

I actually owned it eventually as a kid, and found out that it's very, very easy once you've aquired more than 5 year old motor skills. But I coveted it as a child so much that I never actually believed that I could own such a fantastic, ingrained in our pop-culture, game.

I think the dream means something about frustration. Or that I should never operate on someone. I could take it as both. I probably should.

One more day until the appreciation luncheon at work for record sales in April. They're grilling steaks and chicken. Then sit back and watch the madness as everyone tries to eat as much as possible before their enemies at work eat all their food. Then eat my sandwich, and savor it's sandwichy goodness. Then have a sip of water. Maybe check how the Twins did last night. Oh, they lost, that's sad, I bet the pitcher is feeling a bit down today. Maybe his mother can call him, and give him words of encouragement. Maybe the sportswriter is feeling down, because he can only complain about Randy Moss once a week now. It's a sad world.

But such is life.

User Guide - Chapter 4: Get up you idiot!

I hate getting up for work. Which I just did. But I barely slept well enough to consider it waking up. But still, it sucked. Because my bed is better than my cubicle by several utils.

The good thing about this week - long weekend at the end, and a resort vacation during that weekend. The bad thing - because of that, this week is going to seem LONG, and HARD. Sorry...too many spams lately. Yeah, but still, I just know everyone at work is going to throw a shitty week at me, because God always blows the wind in my face. That's right, I blamed God, because I'm that important to Him. Like that other guy was.

Because all blogs have probably mentioned this during the past week, I must use the phrase "Well, I finally saw Star Wars Episode III yesterday". And yes, I did. But I didn't wear my "Darth Vader is my other Father" t-shirt, because that t-shirt doesn't exist. And I don't know how to make t-shirts, because I won't invest my time into learning, like the people in that hip Coca-Cola commercial before the movie where kids do cool things with making t-shirts and welding in their basements, but do NOT DO DRUGS. Which means they're thirsty, like you. Or something.

Well, speaking of LONG and HARD, got to go off to the world of drilling. Or making drills, or whatever it is we do at the drill factory.

3M, innovation, by looking into your bedroom window

What's sad is that after all this time, there's really nothing to say as far as "hey, what you been doing lately, Brian?"

Same old, same old.

But do you know what that same old was?

Nah, you don't care. You don't deserve to care.

I'm sorry, that was far too harsh.

Well, I did manage to use "Count Chocula" as a punchline to joke during a night out with adults and get a laugh. That was worth something. Not much, but something.

And, well, umm...I bought a bike. But I don't know how to ride a bike. Well, not really. I understand it, I can almost not fall off of it, but I have no real skill at it, and don't enjoy it. I've never enjoyed bike riding.

I told everyone "I haven't ridden a bike since I was 9, and I stopped because I realized that hey, why am I riding a bike if I don't enoy riding a bike. And by now I've forgotten how to ride the bike", and they were all "ha ha, very funny. Get a bike, we'll go bike riding, it's fun."

It's like riding a bike, you never forget.

Well, I had to practice in my garage, going back and forth, before I would even go public in the parking lot so I could ride in a straight line without falling. Turning is till out of my league unless it's a slow arc.

And I still don't enjoy it. It just not...enjoyable to me. And I'm not that particular.

Well, yeah, I kind of am. I don't enjoy much, but I just don't bitch about it that often. I just avoid, but avoid in a way that doesn't seem like I'm avoiding. I hope. Most people don't hate me at least. They think I'm laid back.

But anyway, it hasn't stopped raining in Minnesota since last month, so I haven't had to embarass myself much lately with the bike. Not that my wife wanted to go biking much after realizing that truth of "are you sure you want to spend the money on two bikes...I really can't bike", and that it's embarassing to be seen biking with me.

Then I fucking broke my pedometer with my gut. Well, I'm not sure it happened that way, and after 65 pounds lost...

...okay, I just wanted to mention that I've lost a lot of weight again. Because I don't get many chances to, because I tend to cycle through people who see me, due to changing jobs every year and half, so people who knew me then, didn't know me before...and even if, I'm not interesting enough to notice such things about if you're someone else. That and the fact that I never change my pants. No one notices that either. Or do they...God I hope not. Jeans are expensive.

But I don't eat sweets at work when people bring in...sweets. But it's easy to turn down cake and other things along those lines at 10 am, because I'm not quite awake then, and am amazed that some people are enough to shove three huge Sam's Club's cupcakes into them because they're simply there. Two, I could see. Three...pushing it. Those are big cupcakes.

I got Tivo too, but then I realized that for as much television as I seem to watch, I don't really have any shows that I regularly watch, let alone miss. I'm a huge couch potato, but I don't have any shows that I particularly care about, enough to warrant tivo. But my wife does, and she loves it. Well, so do I, because then I can tape many episodes of Smurfs that come on at 6 am. No Snorks on the schedule yet though, sadly.

Oh, and I crave birthday cake ice cream.

Other than that, not much going on really.

Oh well, who cares right? Not even the friendly people at my local State Farm insurance group.