wuss wagon

I managed to get a pansy injury at my manly drill bit factory job this week, squishing just the tip of my right pointer finger under 40 pounds of drill bits. I couldn't even have been bothered to get a real sympathy getter like a broken finger. Nope, just the very tip of my finger is messed up, which is great, because I'm a 10-key data entry guy. So I taught myself to do it 3 fingered...now that sounds dirty.

Commercial Review: That commercial where the stuff lives under some dude's toenail.

This commercial is not as good as the movie, "Ghostbusters". If I had a choice between watching this commercial, or buying it's product, or watching "Ghostbusters", I would always choose "Ghostbusters". Did you watch "The Real Ghostbusters"? THAT cartoon kicked ass. And it didnt show some computer animated creature lifting up someone's toenail.

So...in conclusion...Venkman is cool.

And it's hard to type this out on a laptop without the use of one pointer finger.

But don't pity me...because I'm pathetic.

Le Menu

I only buy cheap bottled water? Does that make me cheap? No, it doesn't, because I don't drink out of the pond like those poor bastards who drink out of the pond.

the sun is setting in the sky, Teletubbies say good-bye

Hey Sproutlings!

No one who hasn't hung out and watched television with a 2 year old in the past year will get that greeting. Oh well. Sucks to be you. Teletubbies was graded as "Wow! Teletubbies!" as a 4 am watching show by my nephew. I agree.

Here's what I consider an effective commercial...the current Ikea one where the woman shows her friend around, and then finally bursts out with the sale prices of all the items in her house that she bought at Ikea. It has good buzz with the gals in customer service at my work. I use them as my "mainstream America" radar of if a commercial is working. For instance, they all hated the McDonald's "chiiii-ck-khan!" commercial with all the kids in the backseat, because the girl was looked at funny just for doing what boys do. And the commercial was off the air in about 3 weeks. Unfortunetely, they love the Vonage commercial with the "woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo!" song, and will do it randomly at each other 5 times a day. This has been happening for a YEAR! But...I don't think it's worked in that, I don't think they have a clue that it's for Vonage, or what internet phone is.

In closing...I'm really tired of hearing "woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo!" at work. Please...someone make them stop. They like chocolate. A Lot. Give them chocolate to stop. Or will that just make them hyper or giddy? Oh God, there's no winning...

This blog now has a theme

So, I'll keep this blog talking about ads and the fast food industry.

We took my 2 year old nephew to McDonald's yesterday, because we spoil him, and as aunt and uncle, his nutritional needs are unimportant to us. So it was all cookies, cheese nips, and McNuggets yesterday. And I thought to myself, why doesn't my nephew order a fruit cup from McD's? Then I thought, oh, that's right, even a 2 year old knows that nobody goes to McDonald's to get a fruit cup salad.

I don't want fast food places to have "healthy alternatives". A healthy alternative, is just not going. Don't walk in there and bemoan that somehow you ended up in there, and now they're forcing a milkshake down your throat. Besides, even you can't resist a McNugget, no matter how unappetizing you think you think they are. You know you want to dip them in sauce and eat them in one bite.

Also, Comcast is into showing Arby's commercials (loudly...every ad that Comcast inserts of the actual network ads are at twice the volume)...and it's this chubby dude talking about how he loves to have his munchies for Arbys. Like, he feels fortunate that he's having cravings for Arbys, like waking up wanting roast beef sandwiches is a gift from God himself, right into your stomach. This makes no sense to me whatsoever. I think that if he's giving thanks for having Arbys cravings, he should also be giving thanks that many health care packages cover mental illnesses. If he's going to be annoying, grating, and making no sense, he might as well be in those Radio Shack commercials where people sit in a chair and beg for something like self centered jackasses. Because, seeing people I DON'T LIKE ask for things that I DON'T WANT THEM TO GET, makes me want to shop at your store. And people get fucking paid to think up those ads. I don't understand how they think that unlikeable people are a good selling ad for their brand.

Oh well, it's not like there is ever anyone in Radio Shacks anyway, except over anxious, lonely Radio Shack workers.

a recurring theme

Since Jeff basically brought this up, I think it's time McDonald's struck back.

We see the creepy Burger King doing everything these days, winning football games, raping women in their beds, and cursing people to die 10 minutes after they watch a video of him.

Well, McDonald's can outcreep this creep. Get Mayor McCheese to eat burgers made from children. Have the Hamburgler steal panties of little girls. Have Ronald McDonald teach little Billy how to shoot homeless people, in the night, when they least expect it, because they're sleeping.

You get the picture. If one works, the other has to work. It's the law of advertising. It's my best idea since my idea to have T.O. and his mother be in commercials for Progresso Soup.

Oh...my...God

...I think I just killed the Cookie Crook...

Feats of accomplishments

I managed to eat bread today! Let's hear it for me.

And for those who are spell check impaired, here's a translation of what I just said:

"I maneged to ate braed todey! Lets here it for me.

And for thoose who aer spel chek impeared, hears a translashun of whut I jsut sed:"

Remember, every New Year is a birthday

Happy Birthday to me, and to 2006, whom I will hopefully outlive.

I give thanks this year to the Best Western Hotel, and it's helpful staff, for giving me a wonderful Christmas Day at their fine establishment. I give thanks for their shortened menu at their seedy lounge, and they $5 travel toothbrushes at their gift shop.

I give thanks to fog, otherwise I wouldn't have experienced the Christmas in Detroit. Which everyone should.

I give thanks to surly people at airport bagel restaurants, who stand by the counter, only to tell you not to order with them, but with the person further down the counter.

I give thanks to airport gate staff, who cancel flights for 24 hours 10 minutes before they're set to take off, without warning, and then run off to enjoy their Christmas.

And of course, I give thanks for Harvey's Hamburgers, which I don't get to enjoy except back home here at Christmas.

And I apologize for everything I've said against mute people all year long. That and the horrible picture of myself on the blog main page, because I enjoy frightening the children.

Birthday/Christmas gifts this year = iPod, Commodore 64 plug and play, slacks, fire extinguisher, spin and store, and many, many gift certificates.