For no real reason

Say...aren't you the man they call the Whipmaster?

That's right. Some men use a gun... some a knife ...others just use a big rock. I use a whip.

Merry Cheesemas to all

Mmm...cheese.

I don't know why saying "Cheesemas" in my head always makes me mentally giggle...because I know there's nothing funny about it at all...but it does. Every year. And every year, I substitute it, in my head, for "Christmas" in Christmas carols, and mentally giggle some more.

I don't bother people out loud with it though. I'm not THAT stupid.

Except here. But no one reads here, so it's all cool.

Have a Very Beastmaster Christmas everyone!

Waffle Iron

This year, I won the Secret Santa jackpot as I got not only a waffle iron, but an ice cream maker as well.

Okay, when we were asked to write down three things within a certain price range as ideas for what we wanted for Secret Santa gifts, I kind of blanked and wrote down odd things that came into my head.

But yet, everyone was jealous...and hungry for waffle ice cream sandwiches. Which only I can make now.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all...oh God, now that's waffly.

A long, long week

It's a short week workwise, as I have Friday off, but since it's a big holiday coming up, plus my trip back to Nova Scotia until 2006, it's already, after one day, going very, very slowly. I don't see why they expect me to work hard this week...don't they understand the fact that I don't want to work this week? Whatever.

Tomorrow is the company Christmas Potluck. I'm making Canadian Meatballs (see, it's not Swedish Meatballs, because I'm Canadian, and I'm HILARIOUS). I have no idea how to make it into a crockpot meal, which all potluck meals in Minnesota have to be, and not make it suck. So it'll suck. But there will be much sucky food to choose from, so no one will notice my brand of suck.

Captain Planet! He's our hero! Gonna take pollution down to zero!

He's our powers magnified! And he's fighting on the planet side!

I get a turkey this upcoming week from work. And an assortment of fruits. Which is great, because then I don't have to worry about it all being one fruit that I don't like. No, it's an assortment of fruits. Life is good. All the hard work is finally paying off.

I managed to blow another tire (my third in 5 months) Friday morning, which is always fun on a busy highway during cold Minnesota mornings. Because, hey, my Christmas budget wasn't quite tight enough, I had to buy 4 tires for 2 cars this week, plus towing.

I think the guy who changed the tires at Sam's Club had a car crush on one of my cars, which makes no sense, because it's not that great a car. He kept asking questions about it that had absolutely nothing to do with it's tires, and the putting on of said tires on to the car. I hope he isn't part of some Sam's Club Car Stealing Club. But if he is, I know his name, because I saw his certification pictures on the wall, which is very important to know.

This one guy who was behind us in line to get the tires changed, moved TOO FUCKING MUCH. The workers weren't at the front desk, as they were, you know, changing tires on cars. So while I was waiting, and the person in front of me were waiting patiently, he danced around us, kept asking how long we've been waiting, tried to get through the employees only door the working area, rang a bell, paced through the entire area, and got the workers paged by the manager 3 times, in a span of 5 minutes. You're a grown fucking man, learn to stand in one place for a few fucking minutes. Jesus, he almost gave me ulcer just watching him.

The Greatest Post In the History of Blogs

Bless me bagpipes, he’s at it again! Scrooge Mc Duck is hot on the trial of the richest adventure ever. Pieces of the map of the Lost Treasure of Mc Duck have been scattered across the globe, and Scrooge must find them before the greedy Flintheart Glomgold grabs them. It’s going to be a race to the finish as both of them try to find the treasure and become the richest duck in the world! Join Scrooge and his nephews as they explore the ancient pyramids of Egypt and scale the watery height of Niagara Falls. Aid Scrooge in his quest for the secret of the island of MU and you’ll gain the final clue to unravel the hidden location of the Lost Treasure of Mc Duck!

Cookie jerks

My cravings for cookies continue unabated. Ever since watching countless shows on Sunday on the Food Network about Christmas cookies, I've been fighting a battle with my will power over gorging myself on cookies. Then I get this email: "Save up to $10 off a Delicious Holiday Cookie Basket"

Bastards! The internet knows my weaknesses!

Snow Day in Minnesota = Brian takes PTO. Hopefully there aren't any more bad ones before and during Christmas, so my vacation home goes without problems, plus I don't have any more PTO to use that won't dip into my Christmas time off fund before or after that. You hear that, internet? Don't send me "Save up to $10 off a Delicious Holiday Snow Storm" emails!

What to do? Just grab on to some Duck Tales.

I loves me some Duck Tales.

And to a lesser extent, Gummi Bears.

God, still just under two weeks until Christmas vacation, and I get to fly home for the holidays. As I do pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze. But time is ticking slowly. Though I did finish my personal Christmas shopping today, as it wasn't freezing out, so it seemed like a good day to do that. There are still spousal unit togetherness giving to other people gifts to get, but their not my sole responsibility, so I can take the high road and still brag to people that I'm done my Christmas shopping.

Secret Santa at work though is getting out of hand. Combined with departmental, office, and etc. Christmas party/gift giving things, it'll cost me about $60 this year. And that's before pot luck supplies.

At least they give me a frozen turkey, and a box of 9 assorted fruits.

I don't know what I'm going to do with a frozen turkey for the two hours at work that I'll have it before I go home.

Souvenirs & Gifts

Souvenirs & Gifts

Those Beaver Country t-shirts are world renown...do you know of their renouwntivity? You must, since you live in the world. Unless you're a shut in. In which case, you're a loser, and I don't have time for you. Come back when you're more fabulous.

Where's my goddamn sandwich?

It's the holiday season

So whoop-dee-doo, and dickery dock...

Dickery Dock? That's just odd. What do the holidays (all of them) have to do with mice running up the clock?

Seriously, besides that "Night Before Christmas" cartoon, the one with the people having big ears, and Santa being swayed by a singing clock (the first Ipod...oh that's a stupid joke), mice have very little to do with Christmas.

Let me explain:

Mice are stupid.

See? There we go.

My Christmas tree is so impressive, that it has attracted several worshippers who think it's a God. That or it's my cats sleeping underneath the tree, but I'm all drugged up on Sprite Remix: Aruba Jam, the official drink of the Holidays, that I can't really tell.

I haven't been to the Mall of America yet since holiday shopping started, but only because I value my sanity. But only slightly, so I may eventually go, pulled in by it's gigantic pull of gravity, and it's lack of bargains because it doesn't need to put things on sale, because it's the Mall of Fucking America.

Besides, there is no Woody The Talking Christmas Tree there, so I really don't understand how Minnesotan children get their Christmas wishes granted. http://micmacmall.shopping.ca/listmallevents?mallid=mic

I looked Woody up on the internet, using the words "Woody the Talking Christmas Tree", and got hits back from Google about the 1913 Massacre.

Merry Massacre Christmas everyone!

But I will post again before Christmas. I just wanted to make sure you got your Merrys in.