Projfect tracking and small business accounting all in one!

I made some low carb burgers yesterday...because we ran out of bread and I had already de-thawed the meat.

Heh heh...de-thawed the meat...I have to write that one down.

That's right...I'm trying to make "I made some low carb burgers yesterday...because we ran out of bread and I had already de-thawed the meat" into something dirty. But it just doesn't work.

But the burgers were okay-ish. I used the George Foreman grill, which knocked the fat out. Then I ate chocolate frosting by the handful. Just to even things out.

I think the maintenance man at our apartment (or...luxury rental townhome) complex can tell that I'm unemployed right now, and is mocking me with knowing looks. Because I'm not only unemployed, but I'm short! And there was that time I couldn't get the sink unclogged.

It wasn't MY fault. He had two plungers and I only had one!

But enough of my plunger envy.

I didn't get more bread because I don't have much cash right now. And I refuse to go to the store for the single purpose of buying bread. I get bread, when I get gas for the car. Because gas station bread is cheap yet okay.


Mood - I'm only Okay

Higher Score Guaranteed

Knuckle puck!

The Tragically Hip - Live Between Us

I had an urge today to write romance books about tough broads who are independant and don't need a man...until they find a man so manly, that they fall for his manliness...and hard chest.

Then instead, I decided to write this entry. Thus, you won.

It's consistently my favourite kind of climate right now outside. Early Spring, slightly warm with nice breezes. I get to enjoy being out on the patio, watching kids ignore their parents to strains of "if you don't start listening, I'm going to spank your bottom!".

Kids don't fear that! Not when they're outside and have so much room to escape. And a ball to kick.

I wish I had a ball to kick. But there hasn't been a ball sale in awhile.

1985 - 1989 Only Dance

I'm really into saying "Dunderpate" lately. Not out loud mind you, but just in my head. Dunderpate...ahh...refreshing.

My cats are now addicted to laser pointer chasing, and it's overtaking all facets of my life. I might as well just be a floating arm with a laser pointer.

Master the GRE CAT

I'm in the annoying stage of feeling kind of sick, for like, almost two weeks now. I start feeling better, then I get a fever that night, and then I'm feeling terrible all that day, then kind of good that night, then I wake up sick again. It's really getting in the way of my usual...sitting around...watching television. Because I can't concentrate with a headache!

I almost threw up yesterday at the gym when riding an exercycle, laziest of all the exercise equipment. Ah...sitting *and* exercising, together at last.

What else Exciting has been going on...let me see...I haven't seen my baby nephew much this because I don't want to get him sick. He's cool because he wears his pants low, because that's how the kids dress today. Well, they dress that way if they have such tiny baby legs and baby bellies that the pants are way too big.

My wife got promoted! I'm celebrating by cooking a nice pot roast. I'm the Ultimate Homemaker right now inbetween jobs. Too bad that doesn't help my resume. Oh well, temp work helps inbetween making beds and vacuuming to keep a man strong.

I'm really into Baby Looney Tunes right now. They're totally hype. Along with all kinds of morning programming.

All the best from IRELAND

I find it kind of sad to realize that an ear ache can still send me instantly back into a child state.

Fevers make me a wussy.

Headaches make me a pansy.

But ear aches, make me a child.

"Owwie! I can't sleep with this side of my head on the pillow!"

On the bright side, I have BT again.

BT = Bathroom Tissue, because I'm civilized.

Choco and Finnegan

In retrospect, I know exactly when my fear of Cher began.

On being old men

You know, it seems like one day, you're talking to your best friends about video games and what's your plans for the weekend, and then the next you're talking to one best friend about if your other friend is required to "put out" babies because his soon to be wife wants some, and he's moving into her house after the wedding. And you're thinking, God, I've got to be doing something on that front before too long as well, but my cats are good enough for now...and I'm training on my nephew. Right...

We still talk about video games though. Just more expensive systems, cause we got jobs now, dawg.

I don't know Jack

My wife is good at Lingo, yet I am not, even though I had good grades in English all those years...I think it's because I want to guess "Brian" for every turn. I threaten to sign her up to Lingo, saying that if we get picked, we have to go. She disputes this. Thus life continues this way.

Did you know my blog is fucking chock (CHOCK!) full of carbs? Well it is! You could die!! I didn't remove the bun to make it a atkins friendly blog. Actually, I lost about 30 pounds while eating only carby foods, in around 2 months. I did something radical like exercise every day and cut back on my food. And it's hard to avoid carbs when all I can cook well is pasta dishes and rice dishes (I'm the sauce king), and your wife is rightfully nicknamed by friends and family "Jojo Potatobug".

In closing...my sister in law (creator of my adorable new nephew Max) wants us to all go on Family Fued one day. And we will. And I will tell you when that happens. Survey Says: Victory!

Then we'll fight over the meager prize money. Then blow it all on the carbiest meal you ever saw. I will eat the most.

There...everything tied together nicely.

You know you're getting too old when...

...I think I have a prostate problem.
How I long for the days of universal health care. Oh well, going every half hour isn't that bad, as long as I have interesting things to do in the bathroom, and that's the reason why I simply had to get subscriptions to like, 13 magazines. Plus I like to be knowledgeable about many stupid things across a whole slew of stupid topics. It makes people respect and fear me. Like I owned a Hummer SUV.

Edith Piaf, La Vie en Rose

I have a terrible craving for cheese, and yet, I don't. I think I'm just bored.

And you thought your life was tough

My wife hears every song I sing, no matter what style or song, as an Elton John song, and then starts singing along with what she thinks she hears.

And she doesn't even like Elton John songs.

A curious lack of milk

Actually I have milk...in the fridge.
I've decided I should become obsessed with learning something that will better myself. Unfortunetely, the idea has already bored me. So instead, I'm going to try to sleep in late, go to the gym most of the afternoon, cook a long meal, and then enjoy prime time television, get bored of prime time television after 15 minutes, spend some time on the internet, get bored of the internet after 14 minutes, pester my wife and my cats because I'm bored, and then watch the Daily Show, but turn off the television before Tough Crowd comes on. Then I'll take aspirin for the knee I hurt at the gym, and try to get asleep again until almost the afternoon the next day.
I really need to find a job.

I learned how to make titles

I'm eternally tickled several different colours at how I'm currently doing at whatever I'm doing. For example, I figured out that by turning the title doohickey on, I have titles. Now I'm just wasting space making posts about nothing at all, just to give my blog some meat.

Don't get all churlish on me about it either. I hate when people front me with the churl.

Who am I kidding, what do you care?

wiggie fact #2: When I look at clouds, I only ever see ponies. And I don't even like horses that much. I don't dislike them, I just have no particular interest in them any more than say I would ummm...mousepads.

I'm not that interested in mousepads.

There was this kid I had a computer class with back in high school, circa 1995ish, who hit print screen, and then just stared at the screen waiting for a print out. He was NOT pleased when he found out he had to walk all the way to the printer. The moral of the story was, that he once snorted drugs in class. And then the teacher later gave some other kid a detention for playing crazy 8s in class instead of...I'm not sure exactly what we did in that class. I talked a whole lot about Mr. T, and made several Mr. T related programs.

So to finish, here's the wiggie timeline:

1978 - born, was cold, needed a haircut

1985 - started school, was cold, needed a haircut

1990 - I think I invented Pokemon around this time, but proceeded to fall back asleep, and then someone else invented it later.

1996 - Was peculiarly proud of a pair of green jeans that I owned. I no longer fit into them.

Everything else really isn't that important.

I have no idea what I'm doing...and my page is ugly, but I figured, since I'm lazy, this would be easier to do short, quick, ultimately stupid posts. Plus everyone else has a blog in this style now. Yes, that's right, I'm copying you. Except one major difference. An Exciting difference.

I'm making Swedish Meatballs!

wiggie fact: I hardly ever wear just one shirt.

Umm...this new format is very scary to me. So while I'm paralyzed by fear of new technology, I'll just cut and paste my last diaryland post (and I can cut and paste using technology, while being scared of it! Shut up!):

March!

MARCH!!!


Well, let's see...not a whole lot going on in my life right now. Because you were so interested and asked and everything. Job hunting sucks the big one (you know which one), and America is currently *looks outside* full of puddles. I found a Canadian food website that sells stuff I can't get here in America, and I cried over seeing Joe Louis cakes. http://canadianfavourites.com/cover.html. There are a lot of things I can get here as well, because the website is lazy, but HP sauce...man, I need me some HP sauce. But that costs money, which I don't have. I can't even afford my library dues, and the library is supposed to be free entertainment! The system is corrupt. I'll just pretend that the big puddles outside are a good fill-in for the Atlantic Ocean off Nova Scotia's coast. And the dog taking a crap is like a ship in the ocean.


Because you cared what was going on in my life!


Actually, I assume that no one cares. I love the term "googling" someone as a way of saying you're looking up someone you used to know (or stalk) on the internet. It's such a weird word for it, if you didn't know the context. But I assume I'm the one person who has never been "googled" in the whole world, who didn't live in the woods all by myself. Besides coincidental look-ups by people looking up stuff on journeyman NBA player Brian Skinner. I feel bad if people looking stuff up for him find my pages and info. That would be disappointing to them, I'm sure. I hate disappointing people, but hey, it's what I do.